


Resist

by glorious_clio



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, Resistance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 07:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10485849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glorious_clio/pseuds/glorious_clio
Summary: Finn wakes up from his coma, and that first day is a blur of hurt.





	

Resistance _hurts_.

It was Finn’s first thought on waking.  

_hurts hurts hurts_

He tried to take stock: he was lying on his stomach, there were wires - tubes? attached to his arm. He was breathing very shallowly and rapidly. There was a hand on his back and it seemed to be where the pain was radiating from.

“Good morning,” said a voice nearby. “Your friends will be glad you’re awake.”  

 _Friends?_ he thought, and then more pressing, he said “Hurts.” His voice was gravelly, like he hadn’t used it in years.  

“I’m sure it does. I’m almost done here, I promise.” The woman attached to the voice finished applying a ...salve? and then helped Finn so he was on his side, then up to a sitting position. She passed him a glass of water. It felt good going down.  

“I’m Dr. Kalonia. You’re Finn, right?”

“Yes,” he replied. His voice was less creaky. “Yes, I’m Finn. How did I get here?”

“Ah, it is no doubt a thrilling tale, but unfortunately, I don’t have the clearance. You arrived back here with Rey and Chewbacca. Commander Dameron will be very glad you’re awake, and of course, you’ll have to be debriefed.” She had dark hair, lines on her face, but she looked bright and alert. Her brown uniform told him he'd found his way back to the Resistance, her green medical armband suggesting he was in good hands.

Finn breathed a sigh of relief. Rey was alive, so was Poe.

Dr. Kalonia hadn’t mentioned Solo. Finn didn’t ask. He couldn’t have survived that confrontation. Finn took another sip of water.

“I’m glad to see you awake; you’ve been out for eight days. I want to run a few final tests on you, and then we’ll release you to be debriefed and then assigned a bunk. You’ll have to check back with me tomorrow, I want to keep an eye on how you’re healing.”

Finn nodded. “Okay.”

Dr. Kalonia stood and checked her wrist chrono. “And Commander Dameron should be here in three... two....”

Sure enough there were footsteps down the hall, and a very familiar chirp of a droid...

“Right on time, Commander,” Dr. Kalonia said.

She slipped out of the room as Poe came in, his dark curls seemed almost tamed, as if he had just come off parade. His brown eyes filled with warmth at seeing his friend awake.

“Finn! Buddy!” and there was a rush to his bedside.  BB-8 was rolling around chirping wildly, as if just as excited to see Finn awake.

Poe must have known the extent of the damage to Finn’s back because instead of hugging the other man, Poe took his hands and _squeezed._

“How are you feeling?”

Finn felt naked as Poe stared into his eyes.

“Fine. It hurts like hell, though,” he managed. 

Poe frowned and nodded sympathetically.  

“Does the Resistance always hurt?”

Poe laughed, a little ruefully, and sat next to him on the bed.  

“Yeah. Some days worse than others. But better fighting than anything else,” Poe said bracingly. “Besides, we take care of each other here.”  

A nurse droid bustled in, whirring and efficient. “Dr. Kalonia wishes you to do a session in the Bacta tank, and then I am sure you wish to shower?”

“And brush my teeth?” Finn said, running his tongue over them - they felt fuzzy.  

“Of course,” the nurse droid said, taking the tubes out of his arm and applying pressure to stop the bleeding.

“I’ll let the General know you’re awake, Finn. I’m sure she’ll want a report. And then I’ll make sure you get settled in.”

“Thank you,” said Finn.  

As unfamiliar as kindness and care felt, it helped balance the pain in his back.

 

* * *

 

Oh yes, Resistance hurt.

The Bacta tank was not fun, nor was the shower afterwards. The medical tests at least felt familiar, even if Dr. Kalonia was a more sympathetic doctor than he had ever met. And she gave him something for the pain. The physical pain, at least.  

“Should you wish to join the Resistance, I am not recommending you for an active assignment just yet, Finn,” she said kindly before his release. “As it is, your back needs to heal properly. I believe the General and Commander Dameron are already thinking where you might best fit, however.” She gave him a smile.  

Then Poe was there (without BB-8 this time), taking him to High Command. General Organa was wrapping up a meeting as the two men waited on the threshold.

As she swept out of the command center, Poe fell into step behind her, and they escorted Finn to what he thought was another meeting room, but which turned out to be her private quarters.

“Have a seat, Finn. Poe, you’re excused.”

“Yes General,” they both chorused.

“Oh kriff, there’s two of you,” she muttered as Poe left the room to station himself outside. Finn sat carefully in the chair she had indicated, surprised at its comfort despite its minimalist appearance. She poured herself a drink.  

“What does Kalonia have you on?”

“Um.... a massive pain killer? It was a blue vapor that I inhaled?” Finn said.

General Organa frowned. “Well then, I guess I can’t offer you anything stronger than water.”

“Water’s fine, ma’am.”

She sniffed then settled down next to him.

“This is your debrief,” she said passing him the water and switching on the recording device. “I’ve done enough of these to know that they are dreadful, but if you could tell me what you remember from the beginning. I may have questions as we go along, and we might have to do this in parts.”

Finn sat for a minute in silence. “I’m not sure... what counts as the beginning.”

“I’ll leave that up to you.”

Finn took a nervous sip of water, some of it spilled down his shirt. The General pretended not to notice.

“I don’t remember anything but the First Order. My earliest memories are classes of... battle tactics, simulations....” Finn walked her through his childhood, adolescence. She scribed notes on a datapad, sometimes interrupted to ask a clarifying question or two. Finn didn’t pay her much mind, but noticed that she tensed the few times he mentioned Kylo Ren. Finn hadn’t seen much of Ren, but he was... so much a part of the ending. When he told General Organa of the encounter over the bridge, she looked so grim and pale. Finn thought Rey had already debriefed her. Neither of them could hear what was said, but the General almost shook as she took her notes.  

Finn skimmed a bit to the confrontation, Ren slamming Rey into the tree and slicing his lightsaber into Finn’s back.

“That’s... that’s all I remember.”

The General took a breath. She nodded and then swallowed the last of her drink.  

“Right. Like I said, High Command will review this report, but otherwise it remains top secret and restricted. You may be contacted for further questions.”

“May I ask a few questions?” Finn asked.  

She shot him a glance. “Very well. But I reserve the right not to answer.”

Finn, surprised she’d even entertain him, nodded. “Of course.”

“Fire away, Finn.”

“Where’s Rey?”

“No one’s told you?”

“No.”

“She and Chewie went to find Luke Skywalker. I have no idea when she’ll be back, or if Luke will return with them. I hope they will. I haven’t heard from them, but I’m not worried. I can feel that all is well with her.”

“Feel? Like, with the For-”

“What is your next question?” she said interrupting him.

He got the sense that she was not to be questioned about the Force. Finn let it go for now. “So how did I get back here?”

“Rey woke up, battled ... _Ren_. Starkiller Base was falling apart all around you and she managed to fend him off well enough. Chewie carried you back to the _Falcon_ and you arrived 40 minutes later and were rushed into our care. That was eight days ago.”

Finn nodded.  

“Any more questions?” she prompted.

Only a million. Finn thought. But instead he asked, “Where do you think I’ll be assigned?”

“What was your job on the Starkiller Base?”

“...Sanitation,” Finn said, reluctantly. Ready to be ridiculed.

“A very important job, to be sure,” the General said. “Hygiene and sanitation keeps every army running on its feet instead of the army’s ass doing the running. However, I think we’ll find a use for your talents in other places. For now, though, Dr. Kalonia has noted in your record that you are still recovering, not yet up for active duty.”

“Yes, Capt- I mean. General.”

She offered a smirk at that. “Don’t worry, Finn. Captain isn’t the worst thing I’ve been called.” General Organa reached over and flicked off the recording device. “You’re free to go, no doubt Poe is minutes from pounding down the door.”

“One more question, General.”

“Go on,” she said tiredly.  

“I... does the Resistance... hurt?”

Finn winced at the childishness of the question. Fear of pain was something that was beaten out of stormtroopers. They’d all be dead soon. Before battles they were pumped up with adrenaline, steroids, who knew what else. They were all on a cocktail of mood suppressors. How long it would take for these things to come out of his system?

But the General appeared to take the question very seriously.  

“I have been resisting evil every day of my life, it seems,” she said slowly, carefully. “It is the most painful thing I know, but it is the only life I know. Of course Resistance hurts. But I bear the pain, _we_ bear the pain so that others don’t have to. And to give in to the dark would be death.”  

Finn nodded. “Thank you for your candor, General.”  

Both soldiers got heavily to their feet.

She reached up a hand and rested it on his shoulder. “But we have friends, Finn. Make friends here. And when you can’t bear the pain a moment longer, we can muster you out. There are no minimums on your service here. You bear the pain as long as you can, and then you must move on.”

Of all the things General Organa had said, that surprised him the most. Wonderingly, he stepped into the corridor.  

Poe took one look at Finn’s face and laughed. “There’s no one like the General,” he said. “It’s why we all love her.”  

Poe took Finn to his barracks, got him some new clothes to wear, showed him around the base. But mostly, he left him to sleep with a squeeze of his hands again. Finn was grateful. He climbed into bed feeling as if he hadn’t slept in days, even though the opposite was true, and he’d only been awake about seven hours.

It was slightly annoying not to sleep on his back - Dr. Kalonia had cautioned him against it. He was on his stomach again. The pain med hadn’t worn off completely; Kalonia had said they were long lasting. But he knew it was coming.  

Finn counted his breaths. He wondered when Rey would return. He wondered when his back would heal. He wondered when he would be at his full strength. And when he’d be assigned. If he decided to say. But no, he would stay. He would resist the First Order. Kylo Ren would be coming for him anyway.

He wondered when the General would call him back for questions. No doubt she was still desperate for information about the First Order, and he was a perfect informant.

Mostly, Finn wondered how everyone in the Resistance dealt with their hurt.

He snuggled into his pillow, felt the softness of the sheets on his skin, and took comfort in this time of rest. Soon, he would be fighting again. But this time, with a clear mind and a free heart. These alone were worth the hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, as ever, to lalalalalawhy for reading this over.


End file.
